Trout Republic - The end of the world
We averted another crisis Saturday as the predicted end of the world came and went without a hitch.
It’s not without merit that some people believe the end is nigh as there are certainly worrying things out there. Our little rocket man Kim seems intent on ending his sojourn on this planet by playing the bully.
There is one thing about a vocal guy like him sooner or later someone will oblige him with a rocket up his nether regions.
Now, this year’s doomsday prediction was a tad different as there was a supposed to be a dark planet colliding with the earth wiping out all mankind.
That kind of thing, Ol’ Dutch can live with -- well, maybe not live, per se -- but, at least that would be an explosive, sudden kind of end as opposed to the normal suffering and starvation scenario most doomsday people like to present.
Of course the long-term catastrophe is a better deal for the modern day snake oil salesmen as then they can sell their followers generators, freeze-dried food, water purifiers and all manner of survival gear to better survive the coming apocalypse.
From what we know so far, this so-called Black Planet went by us without a mention and now we are left with the impending Yellowstone Super Volcano, Kim deleting us with his nuclear wrath, the next hurricane or watching the Emmy’s. And the latter, my friends, is about as slow of a death as I ever want to experience again this side of heaven.
It may be my age showing (which Miss Trixie says is evidenced more every day) or just reluctance to worry about things I cannot control. But I would just as soon go out in a blaze of glory than lay around in some bomb proof eating moldy freeze-dried foods.
My dad’s church in Kansas bought an old “Poor Farm” year ago with a huge old building with 29 bedrooms and six baths. A poor farm was a place they used to send people who fell on hard times to work and provide for themselves until such times as they could get back on their feet.
When Ol’ Dutch was cleaning out the basement he came across a vast amount of Cuban Missile Crisis supplies. These included wheat wafers, medical supplies, and toilets made from cardboard barrels.
The thought of half of the county crouching in fear in this moldy old basement hiding from Castro, eating crackers and smelling those old barrels day after day was too much for this old boy’s system.
But I guess if you want to survive the coming calamities you best get yourself a cave to hide in, plenty of food and water and don’t forget enough guns and ammo to fight off the hungry hordes that will seek you out.
If you noticed, the last presidential administration was the best thing that ever happened to gun sales in this nation, just check out Remington, Colt and Winchester’s stock performance these last eight years. I wish I had seen that coming as I would be sitting pretty instead of sitting ugly. No Comment, please.
Trixie once ask incredulously, “just how much ammunition does a man need?” My son Bub looked at her like a calf looking at a new gate as that is about the dumbest thing he had ever heard a person say.
Why I know people who have stockpiled untold thousands of boxes of ammo against that day when there is none to be had. This is also known as “cursing your children” as they are left to dispose of it once you meet your demise --which hopefully will come at your leisure and not in some apocalyptic, cataclysmic event of scary proportions.
Heck even death by clown seems to be a new end of life for a lot of people. Which is exactly why I quit visiting Ronald at the Big Golden Arches. Scary worldwide death I can handle but a grown man in a clown suit is just way too much suffering.
Kevin Kirkpatrick and his Yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV or hike daily. His email is [email protected]. Additional news can be found at www.troutrepublic.com or on Twitter at TroutRepublic.