Miss Trixie often makes reference to my advanced age and is amazed that I am technologically savvy.

That in and of itself is nothing new because before I met her and I was dating much younger women than her I might add, they too were amazed that I knew how to text on a smartphone.

That name alone seems to imply something about the user but after seeing people try and use them I can guarantee you it's the phone that is smart.

Way back in the Dark Ages when all we had were manual dial phones, phone booths on every corner and 40 digit codes to dial in to get the discount on one call, all we could think and hope for was a shoe phone like Maxwell Smart had on television.

We dreamed about somehow, someday being able to talk to other people and when the first handheld phones came out, we rushed to the store for our new toys.

For those of you too young to recall such ground breaking events, the phones were the size of a small suitcase and you had to carry a bag around everywhere you went.

Air time was so expensive that calls were kept to a minimum but at least for those of us on call at work, we could get out of the house and not be tied to the landline any longer.

I got a flip phone next and imagine being able to carry it in my pocket all day without looking like a man carrying a purse?

We were finally set free to walk and talk and more minutes were added to our plans which meant extended calls could be made at least part of the time.

Running out of minutes meant huge charges being added to your bill so Ol’ Dutch had to ride herd on the missus to keep her jabbering to a minimum.

But suddenly the game changed and a new thing called texting came along. No longer were we tied to communicating with each other verbally and clearly, but now we could text one another long diatribes of misspelled and misinterpreted messages.

Auto correct helped that along as it seemed to catch a lot of mistakes but the English language being what it is, a lot of weird messages were sent out by yours truly.

Ordering a sandwich with the fixings might include “manass” if you are not careful, it might take “30 nuns” instead of minutes to get somewhere, or you may wish someone “dead” instead of dear. It can get kind of wild, sometimes. For instance, I’ve seen “pregnant” instead of Pringles, “black” instead of back, “killed” instead of kissed and hermaphordites for Heinken.

One woman texted me to let me know all she had to eat was a can of tuna in her “puss,” another said she was bringing “porn” instead of corn to the church luncheon and one guy was helping his dad get “high” when he was lighting a hibachi.

Bad texting without checking closely has meant the end of jobs and relationships too as some things just cannot be unsaid. Once you let the toothpaste out of the tube you can't get it back in there easily.

Recently old fumble fingers Dutch found a text to talk feature and now instead of having to actually type in words I can give a long winded message full of typos and wrong meanings.

This is much easier to do than looking for the “e” on the keyboard and so I tend to use it especially when communicating with Miss Trixie, my children and my dad.

So I have become a texting fool and pretty good at it albeit there are some misunderstandings but that is the cost of moving forward technologically.

And, I have heard there is breaking news on the horizon about a handheld device whereby a person can actually “talk” to another person. Now, there is a fad I might go for.

Kevin Kirkpatrick and his Yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV or hike daily. His email is [email protected]. Additional news can be found at www.troutrepublic.com or on Twitter at TroutRepublic.