Ol’ Dutch has not been a fan of snowy conditions ever since working out in it night and day in my past life.

Going to work in a blizzard while everyone else was all snuggled down in cozy bliss developed a definite aversion to the white downy cold particles. And now I seem to have been stricken with a slight twitch at the mere mention of snow.

I do know that we all in Colorado and our surrounding neighbors depend on the snowy mounds of white for tourism, water sources and all sorts of fun stuff. And, I am always glad when the snow arrives and especially enjoy it when from afar.

Trixie on the other hand is a snow goddess and would spend every day on the slopes schussing down the mountains. Ol’ Dutch actually learned to ski and can get myself down from about anywhere but I never understood riding a lift up only to try to get down. Seems like a repetitive exercise in futility.

It's been a long time since I have skied so forgive me for forgetting the thrill of gliding over new fallen snow, sipping hot drinks in the lodge, chatting with friends and jumping into hot tubs—the latter which is best forgotten as our bodies age and head South.

March skiing always was my favorite as the weather tended to be warmer and I could feel my face and hands during the days spent on the slopes. There was also the possibility of seeing bikini-clad women speeding past me as I stood resting yet trying to look cool.

Fast forward to this week and of course everyone is watching the Olympics and it’s been a cold one at best. PyeongChang tempatures are reportedly some minus 10 degrees and even the makeup on announcers’ faces is freezing. That makes it hard to tell if their unmoving faces are frozen or they have had too much plastic surgery.

So the people at the events are suffering but no more than the men at home forced to watch countless hours of figure skating. This is an event where perfectly coiffed men and women waltz around the ice leaping and spinning in countless sameness.

Ol’ Dutch can recall in past married days having to endure hours of this swirling madness and I guess it's mostly a woman's thing as they all like that event.

Ol’ Dutch trying to be his ever sensitive self-attempted to watch the competition with Miss Trixie but gave up before the costume failure of the ice dancing woman which was the only part most men would have enjoyed.

The attraction has never been clear to me. I am not sure if it's the perfectly groomed and fit men dancing with the ladies that is the draw? Or, perhaps women see themselves as the ballerina ice artist dancing their way into Olympics history? Whatever it is, it is not for Ol’ Dutch.

The one event I do understand is the Biathlon. In this event an athlete skis long distances, flops down in the snow with rifle at the ready and shoots at a target. Now that I can understand as snow makes me that angry too.

So here's to those of you who have had to endure countless hours of Camel Spins, Lutz Jumps, Choctaw Turn, Russian Splits--all which sounds like a fancy colored drink at the bar.

May you avoid the Death Spiral and Death Drop which Ol’ Dutch is about to experience himself from Miss Trixie for complaining about her love of figure skating.

Kevin Kirkpatrick and his Yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV or hike daily. His email is [email protected]. Additional news can be found at www.troutrepublic.com or on Twitter at TroutRepublic.