As most of you know Ol’ Dutch and Miss Trixie became the proud owners of a ranch in Texas last year. Now before you get a vision of J.R. Ewing and South Fork Ranch from the famous television show stuck in your head, let me tell you that a friend told me to name it “Oleo” as it’s just a “small spread.”
It sure is a labor of love, though, as Ol’ Dutch has spent a lot of time scooping manure out of the once finished and gorgeous barn. This odious chore has left me with disdain for such labor plus a distinct “air.” And I don’t mean some social uppity attitude “air” either.
Having own a country place before, I am not some neophyte when it comes to the amount of work it requires. However, the previous owners did a number on this place akin only to Sanford and Son’s junk store but with an extreme amount of filth added in. Couple that with the 5,000 plus beer cans I have picked-and counted-and you have a pretty good picture of my country living experience thus far.
Driving to and from the ranch each day I have the opportunity to pass by lots of rural places that people have built to escape from the hustle and bustle of the near city life. There is everything from single wide trailers to modulars to brick homes that would rival those you see on magazine covers.
Driving past all the homes going to and fro every day I see mostly neat and manicured lawns not unlike those in town except now they have 5 acres to mow every week. Not only that, once they get settled out in the wide-open spaces, they all tend to get some kind of farm animals.
Most of them, at least here in Texas, have always dreamed of having a horse and riding it across the open prairies, hair blowing in the cool breeze, the horses mane flowing like liquid gold with the movement of a fast gallop after make believe bandits or in rescue of some damsel in distress. What they end up with mostly is veterinary bills, hoof trimming expenses, poop scooping flies sitting on freshly grilled hamburgers on their deck and gigantic feed bills. All for an animal that now just takes up space and is not ridden at all.
Texas ranchers and wannabe ranchers have seen the fads come and go with animal ownership and moved through ostrich, emu, alpacas, llamas, camel, elk, deer, sheep, and last but not least fainting goats because it seems there is nothing more relaxing that scaring a little goat and seeing them fall over with fright?
Seeing the houses along the road and then extrapolating that out into the numbers of places I cannot see, Ol’ Dutch began to realize just how big of an impact that has on the rural market for fence posts, chicken wire, sheep panels, animal shelters and most importantly, lawn mowers.
What used to be a one hour job to mow their lot in town has now grown into an entire weekend ordeal trying to make country look like city. Gone are the days when the farmer would keep his yard mowed and let the rest go to native grass or weeds as now the country takes on the appearance of a golf course of massive extent.
Even my son Bubs and wife Tinkerbell has gotten in on the action by buying a place where they get to complain about picking up limbs every day from acreage completely shaded with oak trees.
Sure glad I am not that foolish as my place has pet cows and that is a totally different situation than those other fools around me. Here’s to Tractor Supply, Big R and the local Co-op that keeps us all happy as a pig in a mudhole.

Kevin Kirkpatrick and his Yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV or hike daily. His email is [email protected]. Additional news can be found at www.troutrepublic.com or on Twitter at TroutRepublic.