In case you missed it there was an appearance of Kenny and Dolly at the Chapel Jewels fundraiser event in South Fork Thursday.
This is an annual event that showcases fashions chosen from the Chapel Thrift Store in South Fork and modeled by gorgeous women from around the area. Of course Ol’ Dutch had been drinking since early on and they all appeared to be gorgeous to me.
Every year the Chapel of the South Fork puts on a show of superb talent and somehow I have been roped into providing that part of the show every year. Oh I know, those who know me cannot believe it’s that good but I am sure if you start boozing early enough or are old enough anything is good for entertainment.
Every year Ol’ Dutch and his trusty sidekick Cooper dress up in some outlandish costume and play a part trying to impart some form of hilarity into the program and a break from boredom.
One year I had the misfortune to find a grass skirt and coconut brassiere to wear and Cooper in matching costume played the part of a South Pacific chieftain. Buck Dynasty has shown up in years past and other guests have included the Lone Ranger along with Cooper as Johnny-Depp-as-Tonto with a fake crow on his head.
A version of the dating game called “Find a Friend” was played by a backward fellow from the inner mountains and he was embarrassed to tears by the responses of some of the ladies who normally are pretty modest in action and deed. Well it wasn’t that bad but they had fun and so did Ol’ Dutch.
Last year Elvis made a surprise visit to South Fork and that made those gals swoon and some had definite issues with proper decorum at a public event, shaming themselves to the point of actually having fun – and getting an authentic Elvis red scarf in the process.
It’s not often if ever that South Fork gets to entertain such celebrities as Buck Dynasty, The Lone Ranger and Elvis and this year was no exception to that rule. For some strange and may I emphasize “strange” reason, Kenny Rogers decided to come and help out the ladies with their show and unbelievable as it may seem he was able to wrangle Dolly Parton to come with him.
It was a great show even if I must say so myself and the opening act with Islands In The Stream brought down the house. Well maybe not the house or even the church but we had fun. The secret to having a good time at most events is to realize early on it probably ain’t gonna get much better than what you are seeing and just to let go and at least “act” like you are having a good time.
And those ladies attending have evidently learned that well. Even though we had an equipment failure we knew the show must go on and we rolled with the punches like Sugar Ray Leonard on a Saturday Fight Night in Vegas.
Kenny had the prerequisite white hair and beard and Dolly the large superstructure she is well-known for. It was a sight to behold let me tell you. Little did I know Dolly’s --- hmmm --- assets were really made from scrubbies and a large foundational brassiere from a garage sale. Who would of guessed?
Not wanting to leave the ladies wanting (figure all that wanting out,) a great rendition of Hee Haw followed Kenny and Dolly’s performance and Minnie Pearl herself graced the stage. With her homespun humor and famous tagged hat she even made grouchy old Irma Hogg smile once.
Others from Hee Haw include Tim and Ellen who may or may not be cousins after that performance. And Cousin Kay with her dirty bare feet moderated the whole affair. Not to be left out was our own Pastor Larry who later remarked he is not sure whose church he was in.
But regardless of the acts, they sold some clothes, raised money for missions and had a good laugh or two along the way.
So if you are in need of any famous people to host your fundraiser, church party, wedding, baby shower, bank meeting, funeral or any other public gathering needing some pizzazz, just call BR-549 for rates and scheduling. Miss Trixie will be glad to hook you up with Kenny and Dolly.
  
Kevin Kirkpatrick and his Yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV or hike daily. His email is [email protected]. Additional news can be found at www.troutrepublic.com or on Twitter at TroutRepublic.