Humor at the speed of light

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Setting things straight with the American Chiropractic Association

We all make mistakes. The difference is, when you make one, you probably don’t get contacted by someone from the American Chiropractic Association in Arlington, Virginia.
Or maybe you do.
In which case you may want to consider folding up this newspaper right now and going in for an adjustment.
But, unless you mistakenly informed readers that September was “National Correct Posture Month” when, in fact, we’re all free to slouch until May, I’m guessing you’ve never gotten an e-mail from Angela Kargus, Communications and Public Relations Manager for the ACA.
There are two things I know about Angela:
1) She is very nice.
2) She probably has excellent posture.
I also know she read my column a couple of weeks ago. As Angela pointed out, it proclaimed “National Correct Posture Month” in the wrong month, and provided recommendations on how to avoid slouching that Angela informed me were outdated.
It’s true. Even as a trained professional, I somehow overlooked the more recent recommendations made specifically for today’s slouching public. Because of this, I’d like to apologize. Particularly to those of you who, based on my recommendation, are being followed around by someone with a bullhorn yelling “SLOUCHER!” whenever you slump your shoulders.
I think Angela and I would agree you should stop this immediately because, to be quite honest, it’s possible you have more important issues to deal with than posture.
Not that posture isn’t important.
It’s EXTREMELY important.
In fact, I’m posturing right now.
My point is, as a journalist, there’s nothing more important than credibility. Except for maybe having Spellcheck. That’s why when we in the news media make a mistake, we hold our heads high. We step forward. And we admit, through an error in judgment, we hired Kellyanne Conway as our fact checker.
However, this wasn’t the case when it came to the errors in my “slouching” column. No. I’m taking the burden of that mistake squarely on my shoulders.
First, because I have no one to blame but myself. And second because, thanks to the ACA website, I now have the name of a good chiropractor. Though I have not gone to him yet, his nickname “Dr. Thunder Thumbs” certainly has me intrigued. So intrigued that I haven’t slouched in nearly a week — and that includes while sleeping or using the commode, which I often do simultaneously.
My wife has actually been seeing a chiropractor for a few years now and, along with the many health benefits she enjoys as a result of chiropractic medicine, our marriage has also benefited since, on a regular basis, she is reminded that her pain in the neck is being caused by something other than me.
That said, I’d like to thank Angela and the ACA for straightening me out on the whole posture thing.

Ned is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation. Write to him at [email protected]

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